If you think you need to catch your spouse in the act to tell if he’s cheating then think again. If he’s up to something, then there’re usually signs all around you that you may me missing.

Has your spouse become increasingly secretive? Taking phone calls in the car, being less affectionate or having a sudden change in behavior that you just can’t seem to put your finger on? 

Your intuition tells you that something is wrong but you don’t know if it’s all in your head. And you don’t want to start an argument if there’s nothing happening. But at the same time, no one wants to be taken for a fool, ignoring ‘the signs’.

Well in this article you’ll find 11 financial activities that are at the very least ‘unusual behavior’ that could be signing your spouse is cheating (emotionally, physically, or even financially (yes that’s a thing)). 

Disclaimer: Now be forewarned. Some of these changes in financial behavior on their own might be completely harmless. But if they accompany classic non-money signs of marital trouble like lack of communication, distance, physical separation, being secretive, etc. then you might want to trust your intuition.

So here you have it, 11 financial signs your spouse is cheating on you.

1. A sudden interest in taking over the finances

If you noticed your honey never had any interest in the finances – no matter how hard you begged – and suddenly, not only do they want to help, they want to completely take over, keeping you in the dark? Then this could be a sign your spouse is cheating.

It’s much easier to cover your tracks when you are in control of the budget. So your spouse might be taking over so they can monitor incoming bills or outgoing expenses they don’t want you to see

2. Has no explanation for why money is missing

You share a bank account and you’re seeing strange charges – ATM withdrawals or excessive spending – and when you ask your spouse about them he has no explanation (or a nonsensical one) of where the money is going. If your spouse doesn’t recognize the charges, then, of course, it’s time to lock down the card and dispute it with your bank.

But if the transactions are legitimate then something is definitely up.

3. Has stopped or lowered direct deposits to your joint bank account

You both agree on depositing a portion of your paycheck to the joint account, but suddenly your spouse has decreased the deposits or stopped them altogether with no reason. That’s a good sign that their finances are being funneled elsewhere.

4. Increased clothing expenses or new stuff (outfits and gifts) seem to ‘appear’

Is your spouse suddenly buying new a new wardrobe and they haven’t lost weight, outgrown their current wardrobe or needed an upgrade? Or are you finding receipts for shopping sprees or ‘Victoria Secret gifts’ you haven’t received? You have a right to be concerned.

Affairs cost money. If your spouse has a lover, they’ll likely wine, dine, entertain and buy her occasional gifts. These all appear in the finances as signs your spouse could be cheating.

Even if the gifts are for himself, couples moving in the same financial direction discuss finances and purchases (to some degree). If your spouse is ‘sneaking’ excessive spending, you need to talk about it.

5. Making large cash withdrawals.

Cash purchases have no paper trail. If your spouse is making a large number of ATM, or cash withdrawals from your accounts then it’s possible they are covering their tracks by removing paper trail evidence.

6. Stopped planning for large purchases or future plans together (retirement, trips, vacations)

Healthy couples make plans for their future together. Plans for vacations, to get out of debt, save for college for the kids, etc. If you used to dream and make plans together as a team but now you are planning alone, then it could be a sign they have checked out of the relationship.

7. The mail seems to disappear

Can’t find the credit card bill? Bank statement missing? Another way for a spouse to avoid a paper trail is to hide it altogether. So a spouse might hide the mail or have it sent to the office to avoid questions being raised about expenses. Even if this isn’t a sign your spouse is cheating, you do want to take missing mail seriously. It could also mean your mail is being stolen or that you could be prey to identity thieves.

Tip: A great way to ensure you are getting all your mail is to sign up for USPS informed delivery. Every piece of mail coming to your home is photographed and an email is sent showing you what’s coming in the mail each day.

8. Working more, going on more business trips than usual, but no increased income.

Affairs generally require a considerable amount of time and an easy excuse is working extra hours.

But employees who are working additional hours (and are hourly) will have more income. Salaried employees putting in extra hours are likely to get comp time from their employers.

If your spouse is working late, putting in lots of extra hours but you aren’t seeing anymore in the paycheck. Or they’re constantly out of town on business trips with no comp time, then something might be up.

9. Getting mail for new accounts

Finding mail for an account you don’t recognize could mean that your spouse has opened a separate account to fund his activities. Of course, having an additional account isn’t inherently bad, as long as everyone is honest and forthcoming about it. But being secretive about additional accounts opens the door to endless speculation and mistrust.

10. Excess cash is now spent or socked away somewhere that you don’t have access to

The disposable income you would sock away for saving is now being spent or he says he’s still saving it but you don’t have access to the account it’s being saved in.

11. Bank account passwords have changed, and your spouse is evasive to give the new one.

Financial transparency is a huge sign of trust in a relationship. If your spouse has changed the password to accounts you share and is reluctant to provide the new password then it’s worthwhile to find out why the sudden secrecy regarding the accounts.

Being cheated on can be devastating.

And ‘wondering’ if you are being cheated on can almost feel just as bad. This list isn’t meant to upset you, set you off, or confirm that they are cheating. 

It helps you to know that you aren’t crazy. That the weird behavior you are noticing does look ‘off’ and could be signs your spouse is cheating.

If you observed something that seems strange and doesn’t make sense to you then there’s usually a reason.

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